This message is dedicated to the memory of my friend, Leonid Saharavici, of blessed memory. May his soul be bound up in the bounds of eternal life.
This week’s parasha, Parashat Chaye Sarah, describes the quest of Avraham’s servant to find a wife for Yitzchak. This servant, identified by our chachamim as Eliezer of Damascus, travelled to Aram Naharayim to advance this important goal.
Before leaving on his journey, Eliezer is given strict instructions by his master, Avraham. Avraham commands Eliezer, “…swear by Hashem, G-d of heaven and G-d of earth, that you not take a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I dwell. Rather, to my land and to my kindred shall you go and take a wife from my son for Isaac.”
Eliezer, considering the worst-case scenario, asks, “Perhaps the woman shall not wish to follow me to this land; shall I take your son back to the land from which you departed?”
Avraham emphatically responds that, under such circumstances, Eliezer would be free of his oath and that he should not take Yitzchak to Aram Naharayim.
Our chachamim, who are very sensitive to the lan-guage used by the Torah, point out a nuance in Eliezer’s response to Avraham. Eliezer says,
“Perhaps – u’lai – the woman shall not wish to follow me”. Our sages point out that there are two synonyms in Hebrew for perhaps – u’lai and pen. U’lai conveys “perhaps” in the sense of opportunity and optimism. Pen conveys “perhaps” in the sense of concern and pessimism. U’lai is a “glass is half-full” word. Pen is a ”glass is half empty” word. Thus, without openly saying it, Eliezer was saying to Avraham that wished that the woman would not consent to return to Eretz Yisrael to marry Yitzchak. On this basis, our chachamim explain that Eliezer hoped that his own daughter would be able to marry Yitzchak, and that his line would be connected with that of Avraham.
This nuanced approach to studying Torah – being sensitive to the language that people use – is an im-portant lesson for educators and parents. We communicate constantly and the words that we choose impact the people who we talk to. There is an additional lesson. Listen carefully to those who com-municate with us. Words are a tool of communication. True communication is the meeting of the minds that comes through understanding. By listening carefully to the word choices of the people who talk to us, we gain a deeper understanding into the mindset of those who we want to under-stand.
This week’s parasha, Parashat Chaye Sarah, describes the quest of Avraham’s servant to find a wife for Yitzchak. This servant, identified by our chachamim as Eliezer of Damascus, travelled to Aram Naharayim to advance this important goal.
Before leaving on his journey, Eliezer is given strict instructions by his master, Avraham. Avraham commands Eliezer, “…swear by Hashem, G-d of heaven and G-d of earth, that you not take a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I dwell. Rather, to my land and to my kindred shall you go and take a wife from my son for Isaac.”
Eliezer, considering the worst-case scenario, asks, “Perhaps the woman shall not wish to follow me to this land; shall I take your son back to the land from which you departed?”
Avraham emphatically responds that, under such circumstances, Eliezer would be free of his oath and that he should not take Yitzchak to Aram Naharayim.
Our chachamim, who are very sensitive to the lan-guage used by the Torah, point out a nuance in Eliezer’s response to Avraham. Eliezer says,
“Perhaps – u’lai – the woman shall not wish to follow me”. Our sages point out that there are two synonyms in Hebrew for perhaps – u’lai and pen. U’lai conveys “perhaps” in the sense of opportunity and optimism. Pen conveys “perhaps” in the sense of concern and pessimism. U’lai is a “glass is half-full” word. Pen is a ”glass is half empty” word. Thus, without openly saying it, Eliezer was saying to Avraham that wished that the woman would not consent to return to Eretz Yisrael to marry Yitzchak. On this basis, our chachamim explain that Eliezer hoped that his own daughter would be able to marry Yitzchak, and that his line would be connected with that of Avraham.
This nuanced approach to studying Torah – being sensitive to the language that people use – is an im-portant lesson for educators and parents. We communicate constantly and the words that we choose impact the people who we talk to. There is an additional lesson. Listen carefully to those who com-municate with us. Words are a tool of communication. True communication is the meeting of the minds that comes through understanding. By listening carefully to the word choices of the people who talk to us, we gain a deeper understanding into the mindset of those who we want to under-stand.
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