Skip to main content

Which is more Important: Studying Torah or Honoring one's Parents? - Parashat Vayigash 5776 - December 18, 2015

Which mitzvah is greater – Talmud Torah (learning and teaching Torah) or kibbud av v’em (honoring one’s parents)?

Our chachamim answer that Talmud Torah is greater and there is an indication of this idea in this week’s parasha

Paroh and Yaakov Avinu discuss Yaakov’s age. Yaakov tells Paroh that he is 130 years old. In reading through the Torah, the math doesn’t seem correct. We know (through some calculations involving Yishmael) that Yaakov was 63 when he received his father Yitzchak’s blessing. The Torah tells us that once Yaakov arrived to Lavan’s house, it was 14 years until Yosef was born. That would make Yaakov 77. Yosef was 30 when he stood before Paroh – at that time Yaakov would be 107. Subsequently, there were seven plentiful years and two years of scarcity. Yaakov would be 116. But Yaakov told Paroh that he was 130 years old! What happened to the missing 14 years?

Our chachamim teach us that between leaving his father’s house and arriving to Lavan, Yaakov spent 14 years studying Torah at the Yeshiva of Shem v’Ever. If you include these 14 years, Yaakov was, in fact, 130 years old when he first met Paroh. The key to explaining how we know that Talmud Torah is greater than kibbud av v’em is these missing 14 years.

Based on the Midrash, Rashi explains that for all of the 36 years that Ya’akov was away from his father, he did not once communicate with Yitzchak. Yaakov’s punishment for breaching this honor of his father is that his own son, Yosef, was sold to Egypt and remained apart from him for 22 years. Why was Yaakov only punished for 22 years and not for the full 36 years during which he failed to honor his father?

The Midrash explains that because he was studying Torah during these 14 years, he was not held responsible for pushing aside the obligation to honor his father. From this we learn that Talmud Torah is greater than kibbud av v’em.

On the surface, this comparison is difficult to understand. Comparisons require a shared property or aspect. We are all familiar with the saying, “like comparing apples to oranges”. The similarity between an apple and an orange ceases at both being fruit. The comparison between Talmud Torah and kibbud av v’em seems to end at both being mitzvot. Doing a mitzvah is an encounter with HaKadosh Baruch Hu. The most basic element of this encounter is the focus on the act itself. Precision in performing a mitzvah is very important. Precision in mitzvah performance promotes thoughtful engagement and thoughts of attention to the will of Hashem. From this perspective, it seems difficult to understand how Talmud Torah is greater than – or even comparable to – kibbud av v’em.

There is another aspect to this encounter with Hashem that comes through performing a mitzvah. In addition to elements of design, each mitzvah has an aim or goal. In order to completely fulfill and be fully impacted by an act of mitzvah, one should attempt to align him or herself with the aim of the mitzvah. Perhaps by looking at the respective aims of Talmud Torah and kibbud av v’em, we can find a basis to compare the mitzvot of Talmud Torah and kibbud av v’em.

Sefer HaChinuch, the 14th century Book of Education, explains that the aim of Talmud Torah is that through studying the Torah, we learn about Hashem’s ways in this world. We study His commandments. We study his actions and systems of hashgacha – Divine Providence. We study Divine justice. Regarding the aim of the mitzvah of kibbud av v’em, the Sefer HaChinuch explains that the ultimate goal of honoring our parents is that through honoring and showing appreciation to our parents, we develop an appreciation for the ultimate source of our existence and an awareness that we ought to serve Him.

Returning to our question – on what basis can we compare Talmud Torah to kibbud av v’em? It appears that the comparison relates to the quality of encounter that we are having with Hashem. Talmud Torah and kibbud av v’em reflect two paradigms. Talmud Torah is an encounter with Hashem based on learning whatever we can about Him. Kibbud av v’em is an encounter with Hashem based on arousing feelings of appreciation and responsibility of service to Hashem.

These two mitzvot are at the foundation of how we orient ourselves as Jews. Each of these two mitzvot, by itself, is critical in forming the personality of a ben or bat Torah. It is only when faced with a conflict between these two mitzvot that the Torah teaches that Talmud Torah – learning about Hashem’s ways – takes priority over kibbud av v’em – arousing feelings of appreciation and responsibility of service to Hashem.

However, the critical idea that undergirds this prioritization is the primary lesson – each mitzvah represents an opportunity to have an encounter with Hashem. One fully gains from this experience when he or she not only focuses on precisely attending to the rigors of the act of mitzvah but also attempts to be influenced by the root idea of the act of mitzvah. Whether in our performance of the mitzvah of Talmud Torah, kibbud av v’em, Shabbat, ahavat re’ah – loving our fellow Jews, tefila – prayer or tzedakah – charity, each mitzvah act is an opportunity to have an encounter with Hashem and to thereby be closer to Him.

Shabbat Shalom.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Vows Compromise Our Free Will - Parshat Vayetze 5776 - November 20, 2015

At the opening of this week’s parasha , Vayetze, Ya’akov is leaving eretz Yisrael to find refuge in Charan from his brother, Esav. He arrives at HaMakom – The Place – to sleep for the night – the place of Ya’akov’s famous ladder dream. Morning comes. Yaakov takes the stone that he slept on, makes a monument to Hashem with it and anoints it with oil. He renames the place Beit E-l – House of Hashem. The Torah then records that Ya’akov made a neder – a vow. “If the Lord will be with me and will guard me on this path that I am going and will give me bread to eat and clothes to wear and will return me in peace to the house of my father … then I will give one-tenth of all that I have to Hashem.” At first glance, the fact that Ya’akov made a vow seems inappropriate. In general, the Torah looks down on vows. Our chachamim say noder nikra cho’te – one who makes a vow is treated like a sinner. What is wrong with making a vow? Rav Samson Raphael Hirsch explains that at worst a vow elevates tr...

Project Exodus

Mrs. Shelley Kutliroff, Morah Anat Kampf and Rabbi Moshe Nachbar (not shown) are leading the Junior High School students in Project Exodus with additional guidance from Talya Tsuna and Dr. Whitney Kennon. Project Exodus is a project of and is being funded by a grant from The Jewish Community Partners. The Junior High Students at the Margolin Hebrew Academy will be studying the history of the Jews from the Former Soviet Union via interviews with many local Jewish immigrants from the FSU. Project Exodus is an attempt to permanently document and archive the experiences of Jewish immigrants to Memphis from the former Soviet Union. This project is the inspiration of Lynne Mirvis.

Responding to Disaster in Baton Rouge - Parashat Ki Tavo 5776 - September 23, 2016

This has been a unique week for the students of the Feinstone Yeshiva of the South! In a normal week, two presentations – one by Rabbi Dovid Lieberman on the topic of Free Will and another by Ambassador Yoram Ettinger on the topic of supporting the State of Israel – would have been momentous. But this was no ordinary week. Our students – Cooper Yeshiva on Sunday/Monday and Goldie Margolin on Wednesday/Thursday – partnered with Nechama-Jewish Response to Disaster in providing disaster relief to three families who suffered catastrophic loss during last month’s floods in Baton Rouge, LA. Our students hauled damaged personal effects to the curb. They removed damaged drywall, flooring, paneling and appliances. They removed many, many nails. Our students worked very hard. As a chaperone for each of these two trips (CYHSB and GMSG), I saw the students witnessing destruction first-hand. The scenes were sobering. We saw block after block of homes devoid of life – families gone and the guts of t...