Teaching our Children to Forge a Relationship with Hashem - Parashat Beresheit 5777- October 28, 2016
At the end of this week’s parasha, Beresheit, the Torah describes the generations that descended from Adam; naming his descendants and their children. The list concludes with Noach and his three children Shem, Cham and Yefet. In the beginning of next week’s parasha, Noach, the Torah reintroduces us to Noach – a tzaddik, a perfect individual and a man who walks with Hashem. The Torah then repeats that Noach fathered three sons – Shem, Cham and Yefet. We already know that Noach has three sons! Why does the Torah find it necessary to repeat itself?
The commentator Radak addresses this question. Noach merited to be saved from the flood because he walked with Hashem – in the face of the wicked people of his generation, Noach was only involved with serving Hashem. Just as Noach walked with Hashem, he taught his children to turn away from their wicked generation and to only serve Hashem and to cleave only to Him.
Based on a verse in the book of Yechezkel, Radak explains that if Noach’s children had not served Hashem exclusively, they would have perished in the flood like the rest of the generation. Noach knew that to save his children it would be insufficient for his children to simply grow up in his house. He had to teach his children to walk with Hashem on their own. He had to instill in them the values and the tools to avoid the trappings of their generation. To convey this idea, the Torah repeats the names of Noach’s children at this time to say that they, in their own merit, were saved from the flood and not in the merit of their father, Noach.
To further develop this idea that parents must teach their children to walk with Hashem on their own, let us consider a question regarding the text of the amidah – the shemoneh esreh. The first blessing of the amidah begins as follows: “Blessed are You, Hashem, our G-d, and the G-d of our forefathers; the G-d of Avraham, the G-d of Yitzchak and the G-d of Yaakov …” Why does the Amidah say, “the G-d of Avraham, the G-d of Yitzchak, and the G-d of Ya’akov”? It would be more economical to say, “the G-d of Avraham, Yitzchak and Ya’akov”!
One of the more well-known commentators on the siddur, Etz Yosef, explains that this wording of the amidah tips us off to fact that Avraham, Yitzchak and Ya’akov each forged his own individual relationship with Hashem through his own investigation of Hashem and His relationship with the world. Avraham knew that he had to teach his son Yitzchak to be righteous. When Avraham began teaching Yitzchak, he began by teaching him ideas. As Yitzchak developed, Avraham taught him to investigate for himself the veracity of these ideas. Avraham expected Yitzchak to become righteous not only out of imitation, but out of a sincere investigation of the truth. Yitzchak did the same for his son Ya’akov. The Etz Yosef explains that would the amidah only say, “the G-d of Avraham, Yitzchak and Ya’akov,” one might think that Yitzchak accepted G-d because his father told him to and Ya’akov accepted G-d because his father told him to. Instead, the amidah says, “the G-d of Avraham, the G-d of Yitzchak and the G-d of Ya’akov” to indicate that each one of our forefathers conducted his own investigation but each came to the same conclusion – an acceptance of the existence of One G-d Who is Master of the world.
From the analysis of the Etz Yosef and Radak, we learn two core principles in the education of children:
1) As parents, we cannot assume that our children will share our values because they are our children. Children do not become moral individuals who share our deeply rooted esteem for morality, justice, community, the synagogue, Jewish education and a relationship with Hashem simply because we value these things. We must teach our children to value these things for themselves.
The commentator Radak addresses this question. Noach merited to be saved from the flood because he walked with Hashem – in the face of the wicked people of his generation, Noach was only involved with serving Hashem. Just as Noach walked with Hashem, he taught his children to turn away from their wicked generation and to only serve Hashem and to cleave only to Him.
Based on a verse in the book of Yechezkel, Radak explains that if Noach’s children had not served Hashem exclusively, they would have perished in the flood like the rest of the generation. Noach knew that to save his children it would be insufficient for his children to simply grow up in his house. He had to teach his children to walk with Hashem on their own. He had to instill in them the values and the tools to avoid the trappings of their generation. To convey this idea, the Torah repeats the names of Noach’s children at this time to say that they, in their own merit, were saved from the flood and not in the merit of their father, Noach.
To further develop this idea that parents must teach their children to walk with Hashem on their own, let us consider a question regarding the text of the amidah – the shemoneh esreh. The first blessing of the amidah begins as follows: “Blessed are You, Hashem, our G-d, and the G-d of our forefathers; the G-d of Avraham, the G-d of Yitzchak and the G-d of Yaakov …” Why does the Amidah say, “the G-d of Avraham, the G-d of Yitzchak, and the G-d of Ya’akov”? It would be more economical to say, “the G-d of Avraham, Yitzchak and Ya’akov”!
One of the more well-known commentators on the siddur, Etz Yosef, explains that this wording of the amidah tips us off to fact that Avraham, Yitzchak and Ya’akov each forged his own individual relationship with Hashem through his own investigation of Hashem and His relationship with the world. Avraham knew that he had to teach his son Yitzchak to be righteous. When Avraham began teaching Yitzchak, he began by teaching him ideas. As Yitzchak developed, Avraham taught him to investigate for himself the veracity of these ideas. Avraham expected Yitzchak to become righteous not only out of imitation, but out of a sincere investigation of the truth. Yitzchak did the same for his son Ya’akov. The Etz Yosef explains that would the amidah only say, “the G-d of Avraham, Yitzchak and Ya’akov,” one might think that Yitzchak accepted G-d because his father told him to and Ya’akov accepted G-d because his father told him to. Instead, the amidah says, “the G-d of Avraham, the G-d of Yitzchak and the G-d of Ya’akov” to indicate that each one of our forefathers conducted his own investigation but each came to the same conclusion – an acceptance of the existence of One G-d Who is Master of the world.
From the analysis of the Etz Yosef and Radak, we learn two core principles in the education of children:
1) As parents, we cannot assume that our children will share our values because they are our children. Children do not become moral individuals who share our deeply rooted esteem for morality, justice, community, the synagogue, Jewish education and a relationship with Hashem simply because we value these things. We must teach our children to value these things for themselves.
2) Indoctrination alone is usually an ineffective means of transmitting to our children a commitment to values. Effective transmission of commitment to our values requires two steps. First, a child must first be introduced to the value. Second, the child must led to independently investigate the truth of this value. Only then can we be reasonably sure that the child will adopt this value for him or herself.
Noach, Avraham, Yitzchak and Ya’akov serve as models for us not only in their own righteousness but in fact that they taught righteousness to their children.
Noach, Avraham, Yitzchak and Ya’akov serve as models for us not only in their own righteousness but in fact that they taught righteousness to their children.
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